She kept crying and although my aunt decided to stay out of it she said that I should be prepared for permenant damage in my relationship with my sister if I don't There's a difference between cosmetic surgery for appearance sake and plastic surgery to make life easier (and healthier in a sense). I (F19) have owed my sister (21) 3000 dollars since I was 17 when she payed for my dogs surgery to remove a toy that got stuck on her scar tissue from a previous surgery where she ate part of a mop head. We have been together over 15 years. I’ve been vegetarian since 11 and I have very strict morals around it. My (48 M) step-daughter Hannah (18 F) is going to attend college. Help keep the sub engaging! Don’t downvote assholes! Do upvote interesting posts! Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ. The way he approached the whole thing is just ridiculous. Follow the link above to learn more My aunt suggested others pay but most of them cut my sister and her husband off. They delayed my tonsil surgery by 2 years because they prioritized 2 foster kids and two of my siblings surgeries over mine. The action might make you the asshole as my wife thinks that this is my responsibility and that my refusing I am intentionally trying to hurt her. Also don't do it just to be attractive to him. Except if the nonsense is more than that. A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver “Here’s the issue: my stepsister Melissa (30) is getting practically her whole body plastic-surgeried less than a month after my surgery is scheduled. so when it comes to help, its me my mom relies on. Only The Most Interesting AITA Posts NTA - he shouldn’t have the expectation or shouldn’t be demanding you pay. 15 votes, 22 comments. Totally on board with NTA here. Good for you for protecting yourself. Well, she talked to me presently and said she's got to apply to college & wants me to pay her fees now. We discussed it and I was extremely against it. But I did not relent and said she's not my business now. Janet believes women should be “all-natural,” which means no makeup, plastic surgery, tattoos The funniest thing about this post is how it is clearly an anti-abortion ragebait post made by a right-winger ("haha stupid harpy woman had an abortion without the father's input and now is sad and regretful about it! this is why abortion bad!") but they're so out-of-touch they made the MC of the fake story cartoonishly evil to his wife and expected people to be sympathetic and agree. I plan to sell a piece of the land to help pay for Anna's plastic surgery. I'm not here to complain about this fact—she's been large since I first met her, and I've always found her attractive. For context, I [42/m] have been married to my wife [45/f] for 20 years. YTA - You actually offered plastic surgery TO your daughter, or you talked about it? Even if you didn’t actually tell her, you’re an asshole for even thinking about offering this. . I argued that her husband's poor health isn't my fault after she kept blaming and guiltriping me. Yes, your girlfriends college debt is more important than your mothers plastic surgery, as in: if you had the responsibility to pay for both you should first focus on your gfs debt. James has been dating, “Janet,” for 6 months. It’s your choice, your body, your surgery. Noone should ever feel entitled to your money. Hang the phone up, have a discussion, and then call back. ). Granted breast size can play a part on self esteem issues but still, I agree that if daughter wants an enlargement, that should come from her own pocket. He brought up my son's fund and asked if I was willing to use the money to help out. we're moving to another country soon, which my stepdad has already moved to. My parents have struggled to make time and have the money for all of us. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. My parents know about it but cannot access it. 5 - We are BOTH happy with our marriage and financial situation. The issue, though, is that we've never gotten along well. I had been completely against the idea of spending money on a plastic surgery but she went and got it without my knowledge. EnvironmentalPea5652. Especially when THE WIFE gets cosmetic surgery as well. So my wife's brother got lung cancer, and owes about $60k of medical debt right now, and my wife wants me to help pay it off. You are a good husband for standing up for your wife 2. She told me that she had been thinking about it for a while and that she was close to making the first appointment. My MIL was tricked by her doctor into some plastic surgery on her face due to skin cancer. This morning I refused to help my wife get up out of bed. Shortly after my fifth birthday my dad found out that I was not biologically his, he immediately threw me and my mother out of his life which now looking back I can’t really blame him. If they don’t have insurance the parents can apply for Medicaid for the kid and request to make it retroactive up to 90 days. AITA for refusing to give my college fund to my half-sister? Not the A-hole. AITA for refusing to pay for my son's dental surgery? I'm divorced from my son's mom and she took the easy way out on the financial arrangements. Get that in your head and apologize to your husband. The surgery costs a lot but we would pay it off eventually. She has money saved up and the surgeon picked out, the whole nine yards. Some background info: my dad died before I [18m] was born, and my mom remarried and had my half sister [17f] with her new husband. Happy wife does not equal happy life if the wife is willing to cut contact with her daughter over cosmetic surgery. AITA For refusing to pay for my soon-to-be step daughter's jaw surgery. Once I was done on the phone, I texted my aunt asking for her to pay the vet bill, which ended up coming to almost $2000. Things dealing with your child concerns both of you and you are not owed a payback for being a parent. After the surgery, the man was no longer attracted to his wife, which led to not only an upset partner but him being judged, too. MOD. NTA. But not being there for her surgeries? That's a whole different ballgame, this is her daughter. Having a partner who doesn't support your decision to have surgery can be a challenge, but there are ways to work around it. Not him, you. ” Apparently she divorced John and my brother didn't want to keep her as she is now poor. I had dozens of foster siblings over the years as well. It had to be paid half for an appointment and half day of the appointment. AITA for not accompanying my mom to surgery. She is currently a size 34b cup, so I finally agreed to the procedure which will result in a 38 c cup. A few months ago she mentioned she was going to get it done. It's reasonable to cut someone off financially, especially if they've taken advantage of you in the past. My aunt suggested others pay but most of them cut my sister and her husband off. Its not your burden or responsibility 3. The surgery was quite expensive, quite a lot. When she found out about my wife's infertility, she was initially sympathetic. Regardless of multiple discussions and requests for counseling, things do not improve. 14. Subreddit for listeners of the Two Hot Takes Podcast! Here you can post your own write ins, thoughts… In the states, unless you already have outstanding unpaid hospital bills, they do not charge you upfront, they bill you, and you can negotiate to make payments. AITA for calling my friend’s girlfriend a, “jealous, vindictive bitch?”. The reason my sister asked to use our space was for convenience because she was recovering from a major plastic surgery, bbl, lipo, and tummy tuck that she had about 2 weeks prior to her sons birthday. We broke up and I moved back to my home state and never spoke to either of them again. Either take the help for the silly expensive wedding, or live within your means with a less expensive wedding. I refused and asked her to ask her "real Dad" (who refused to pay for it himself). So she asked us if we could pay for her gastric sleeve surgery and the plastic surgery afterwards too because she can’t afford it and our parents also cannot help her financially. Her's is very noticable. Although we've only been dating for a short while we enjoy talking about the future, including having children, just for fun. Both of the cars in our home are “our” cars. Apr 29, 2024 · Recently on the Seasoned Sessions podcast, we came across a post that left us debating: “AITA for being truthful and admitting that I find my wife unattractive after her surgery?” Mar 12, 2024 · This redditor couldn’t stop his wife from undergoing plastic surgery, even though he was against it; and for a reason. But free market will never create that structure. TL;DR: Mother spent money from ex-stepfather's insurance on cosmetic surgery instead of putting towards improving her's and my… “My wife”, “my car”. We have a pretty toxic free relationship but there’s quite a bit of tension when it comes to me being vegetarian. 4 - New rule: conversations about plans happen offline. I answered that there’s nothing we can do about it and it’s a good life lesson for the girls. It isn't you who's being uncaring or cold here. JanetJamesAITA. My wife (49f) and I (47m) had a fight this morning about whether or not she should get plastic surgery. Background: my wife and I are both working professionals. But she has gained a significant amount of weight over the last 4 years. This is when Andi suggested asking my son if we could pay the cost directly from his savings. This new doctor discovered a further complication which required a new (and costly) medication in the short term and a big surgery to correct. It's going to be another 6-8 months of massaging and hoping the thing heals completely. He should have come to you explain how silly he was to have no liquid assists/ funds for this. I get along great with her kids, especially her son. It's that much because dental insurance doesn't cover much and an anesthesiologist is expensive. Before to help be sure surgery isn't harmful, after to cope with having a new face. Of course, I think they're both beautiful but the reality is that Kate is considered more conventionally attractive by societal standards. Your wife hasn't honored her agreement to pay 50% of Maliyah's medical expenses. We don't have any kids together, yet, but she does have 2 kids from a previous relationship (16F & 12M). Plastic surgery (or wanting it) is often a sign of underlying discomfort with one's body and one's self, don't let yourself descend into body dysmorphia. She spent it on a boob job because she felt like her boobs had become "ugly" after pregnancy and breastfeeding. My wife's family started contacting us about a week ago wanting us to help them with money for his surgery. What you want is cosmetic and 100% choice, your decision, your wants, you. I divorced her immediately after coming to know about it. ) my wife is still in grad school so she hasn't contributed anything AITA for refusing to hand over my college fund for my little sister's surgery? I (17M) am the oldest kid in my family. I told my wife she can pay for her DIYfix by herself and I am not helping. You can do whatever you want with it. A filtered version of r/AmItheAsshole showing only YTA posts. My partner and I started dating a couple months ago, and my nose never came up so I never said anything about the surgery to him. You’re cool though. I help out a lot by paying rent and other things. My aunt and uncle won't pay for removal, so she is constantly in pain and embarrassed by it. Basically I got stuck paying things that are certain like our sons' private school and extracurricular activities where she's responsible for their health insurance and medical bills and their manny. The is legit a perfect situation to fit that quote. Anna now has a lot of loose, hanging skin from the weight loss. It doesn’t work that way. Healing has been a nightmare. It's a lot of money and really caught me off guard. To make matters worse, she lives on a pension from John and has serious heart problems. Hopefully the pre counseling catches cases where they could get their validation without surgery. " EmptyMirror6938. For context, my wife is very overweight. The point isn’t that i can’t pay anything if i get the surgery- the point is my mom saying I’m financially hostage and can’t have anything extra with my own income for the next 10-15 years or else I’m an asshole. ADMIN. While many partners are supportive of their spouse’s decision to undergo a procedure such as rhinoplasty or a facelift, others are dead set against it. While I do accept her apology, and I know accidents happen, this is a big expense that is more of a burden on me than her. Your wife is a hypocrite. I told her that it was not my responsibility to pay for her dress, and that she should either buy a cheaper one or ask our parents for money. Pay for your own surgery. Asshole. Op YTA. However, she later decided that my wife's infertility was "bad luck" and might "rub off" on her if my wife attended their wedding. They can also file hardship with the hospital AFTER THE SURGERY to get the cost reduced. 2. I know her for around 4 years since I married her mother. They leave us to pay 40,000, tell everyone my husband had his family pay his personal debt, and that his wife was after their inheritance check. As in we'd move them to our house & she'd look after them. AITA For asking my wife to pay for my food Not the A-hole So this is the background, me and my wife live together in a nice house, I pay for all the rent and help her with services here and there, she pays the services all the time unless an emergancy happens as i said before, and that ammount is not even near the ammount I pay for rent, that AITA I refused to help my ex wife pay for a surgery. Basically it was one time when her mother made 133K subscribers in the AITAFiltered community. Jen, to me is absolutely gorgeous, but didn't win the genetic lottery like Kate. Reply. For my side, I said that she'd have to help take care of my parents if they fall sick. 3. My friend, “James,” and I have been close friends since primary school. Last year, my grandparents (dad’s parents) let me know they had been saving a college fund for me, and over the years have saved a While we were bed last night, my wife said it was unfair one is making so much more than the other. I could be a jerk for refusing to help pay. The law does not consider elective plastic surgery to be necessary, which is why insurance usually won’t cover it. Edited to discuss the argument of the money being fungible: I agree that she should have a discretionary spending allowance from hers and OP’s funds that she could save for cosmetic surgery. OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: Refusing to pay with money and with gifts to fulfil my wife’s parents wedding request. I was going on 7 months pregnant, still moving in to my new home but agreed anyway. After a while she asked if I could pay for a surgery she needed. •. I told her “It’s your right to do what you want with your body. Here's where the issue comes in: my brother's fiancée is very family-oriented and has always dreamt of having a big family. My husband's been stressing out about his father's surgery. I told OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the asshole: The action I took was refusing to pay for my stepdaughter's wedding. I’m not going to sit here and say that pretty people don’t have it easier, but having plastic surgery isn’t going to fix those DEEP DOWN insecurities. It would be a nightmare to raise someone who was a constant reminder of your wife It would go through insurance first, then the family gets a bill. AITA for refusing to loan her the money? AITA for refusing to loan her the money? No. The Incident: My little brother, let's call him Alex, did something truly hurtful. If she wants a cosmetic surgery, she needs to find a way to pay for it that isn’t stealing from her child. Unless the surgery was outpatient or the car was a Mercedes, it's going to cost more than the value of a used car. Its very thick faced of the bride to accept your money but exclude your wife. My ex asked me if I was going half. I told her I wouldn't pay as I wouldn't feel good doing that. Only do it if it's really right for you. Most of our mutual friends ended up overlooking the matter since Jane and Ted AITA. I have about $400k in index funds which in theory I can sell and use, (Now I must clarify that those are mine, I owned that since before the marriage, and it is covered under a Prenuptial agreement. AITA for refusing to pay for my step-daughter's college? Not the A-hole. We divorced because we fell out of love and I met my wife at 26, dated her until I was 30 and then married her. My father-in-law hasn't been doing well. The elective bit doesn't mean not required or optional. It costs money, loses money, gains none. My wife then suggested we have my daughter use her money to help my stepdaughter buy the same things or we cover the pay difference between the girls. He spoke to me about wanting to help his mom pay for it since he's the only son they have. That’s an asshole move. Our family was pretty tight-knit, but a few months ago, something happened that shattered our relationship. It became their business once you forced your husband to seek their help because of your own issues. 5. Sis proceeds to tell whole family, banish me and husband from house and demands a formal apology for my childish, disrespectful behavior. Shortly before our daughter was born AITA For refusing to pay for my soon-to-be step daughter's jaw surgery. I was shocked and refused. She shouldn’t have to ask for access to leave the house. I said NOPE. Then ask you for a favour that he’ll pay you back for. Adventurous-Fly-2133. Tell us about any non-vi AITA for refusing to $300 for a cleaning fee and only offer to pay $150? I feel she might be entitled to the fee since she would be the one to shampoo the carpet, and I am backing out from helping her with cleaning and shampooing. The rest of my siblings and cousins are calling me an asshole, because I'm not giving the money to them. I make about 2x what she does, but we manage money in a very egalitarian way. 531K subscribers in the TwoHotTakes community. Before I get into the main reason I don't feel I should pay When my wife Lisa and I had begun dating a few years ago, we discussed various expectations we'd owe each other. Feb 19, 2024 · Andi found my stepdaughter a new doctor. for agreeing to my wife’s (30f) breast augmentation only if I (31m) can get BBL. Your child is their family too and if that child's mother would rather make the child suffer, it becomes their business if they want to. Sep 27, 2023 · "My wife [37] had elective cosmetic surgery and I [42] am having a very negative reaction to the results. swanfirefly. My wife was the one who talked to her brother then she came to tell me that we needed to pay money to help her family. My parents have two bio kids; me and my 12 year old sister and they adopted my 4 other siblings. He is a jerk who cheats on her and treats her poorly, but she is too blind to see it. • 2 yr. She kept crying and although my aunt decided to stay out of it she said that I should be prepared for permenant damage in my relationship with my sister if I don't The Real Housewives of Atlanta The Bachelor Sister Wives 90 Day Fiance Wife Swap The Amazing Race Australia Married at First Sight The Real Housewives of Dallas My 600-lb Life Last Week Tonight with John Oliver I (30M) was married to my ex-wife Claire (28F) for four years until I found out she had been cheating on me with an ex-boyfriend. We have a 2yo daughter now whom we coparent. I and Sierra divorced last year because she used money from our joint account without asking me. I have two daughters, Kate (18) and Jen (16). A lifetime of deformity would provide social media content for OP until daughter goes no contact when she finds out at 16 that her issues could have been solved when she was 5. My grandparents saw how much I was getting the short end of everything with my parents and they set up a college fund for me. In comparison, my wife and I work in decently stable fields and have 9-5 corporate jobs so we’re in a better financial position than Alissa. Subreddit Announcements. This may disrespect their culture. She has cited one particular incident as the reason for her insecurities multiple times. Plastic surgery isn't the "instant fix" people seem to think it is. Unfortunately. She called me an AH for asking her and not accepting her apology. Needless to say, the marriage ended, and we got divorced about eight months ago. ” “She scheduled hers after we found out when my surgery would be and expects her mom to take care of her fully (like a baby pretty much with how much work she’s getting done at once). Background: I (19F) come from a well-off family, and my parents have always provided for my younger brother (15M) and me. If the daughter gets the surgery it is only 6 months or so of facebook posts about poor OP's struggle. Even if it was ripped that badly, $1000 is on the high end for earlobe repair and that's without insurance. She isn't going to pay for the whole of Maliyah's surgery whatever she says & from the sound of it her ex will. Over the last year, we have had a dead bedroom with no physical intimacy (hugging, kissing, sex, etc. freeeeels. It just means planned in advance. 862 subscribers in the YTAonly community. A surgery is a surgery and is not without risks. he too has a chronic condition and it got worse lately. Do what you can to ignore them and you do you. The one thing John has a problem with is me refusing to spend my money on meat. If they haven't repaired the bridge they burned, they're stupid to try to cross it. They need a better therapist. ADMIN MOD. BUT: neither is your responsibility. I think all plastic surgery should default come with pre and post counseling. Both do it to feel beautiful, but your wife’s way is acceptable but your daughter’s way isn’t. OP if I was your wife I would be extremely upset over you taking money away from our family to give it to people who hate me. She began to protest and said I am affecting her education and that I cannot do that. She also asked me to pay for half of her wedding dress, which costs $10,000. at the moment we're waiting for our visas to be obtained. My wife says it is the onset of menopause and she doesn’t care about it. We always brushed it off but now that she's seventeen and still insists that she wants plastic surgery, we think she's serious about it. The plan is to continue what we do, inviting them out periodically and covering the bill, but politely declining their invites for a bit. She has two children: Alissa, and Rachel. We have a fixed budget (all saving and “shared” spending, some of which includes unique expenses for her like hair appointments and fitness stuff) plus we allocate her ~$800 a month to spend on things she wants that aren’t in the budget (she does this NTA. I love my nephew and I wanted him to have a fun day. for some context, me (18nb) and my mom (45f) currently live by ourselves just for the time being. I (18f) have been dating my boyfriend, John (20m) for a little under a year. If they cant afford to get married, dont. We eventually found a very good pediatric oral surgeon and it's going to come out to be $3000. I (38M) got engaged to my fiance (36F) about 5 months ago after dating for 2 years. Why does she not have her own car or why isn’t it “their” car. AITA for refusing to pay for my mother’s hospital bills? Not the A-hole. Many people have desperately needed surgeries (such as cholecystectomies due to gall stones, recurrent cholecystitis etc) but they are classes as electives. Mind you, my husband was under 18 and they were close but not in a sexual way at all and my husband was homeschooled online while his brother was over 18. I can’t wrap my brain around the fact that the whole family expects OP to pay for his brother’s wedding when his wife isn’t allowed to be there. . AITA? My husband's family has a family friend and she needed to drive to Colorado and asked my FIL if my husband or his brother would be available to come with since they are like her brothers. Reply reply. My wife has wanted her boobs done for over ten years. Bravo to you!”. IATA stands for "I am the asshole," and IWBTA… AITA for refusing to pay my sister back for paying for my dogs surgery. This isnt what elective surgery means. 1. AITA For Refusing To Pay Child Support Until My Rights Are Established? I (29m) used to date my ex-girlfriend "Jane" (30f) until I caught her with my ex-friend/roommate "Ted" (32m). ago. Not the A-hole. $2000 is when you are looking to repair/ close a gauge hole, which is not a piercing 13 year olds typically have. AITA for denying my daughter plastic surgery? Asshole. 18K subscribers in the dustythunder community. The only condition is I also am undergoing my own cosmetic surgery. My wife and I (both 32) have been married 2 years now, my ex and I were married from 21 to 24, I paid for her cosmetic surgeries at 23 when I got a big sum of inheritance. During the divorce proceedings, I learned that Claire's younger sister, Cindy (20F), had known about the affair but chose to keep quiet Under federal FMLA laws, plastic surgery is only covered if it necessary reconstructive surgery (think a face transplant due to having acid thrown on you, or breast implants after a double mastectomy due to breast cancer). My husband even refers to the utility trailer as “ours”. If you want financial help from your brother, you don’t exclude his wife. jf fo yf zh rw fa ci lp yp mb